The Spanish Celebrate Cinco de Mayo By Annexing Mexico

Presidente del Gobierno José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero of Spain said the Spanish Republic has decided to celebrate Cinco de Mayo by revoking Mexican independence: "It has always been a common misperception that the 5th of May is a celebration of Mexican independence from Spain. This is not correct, is is actually a celebration of victory over the French in the Battle of Puebla on May 5, 1862, but we know that no one can really be proud of defeating the French so the mistake is understandable. In truth, we never agreed to Mexican independence anyway so we are simply revoking it." Almuneda Fernandez is Spanish, not Mexican, but it still might be nice to annex her Reporters asked Zapatero how the Mexicans might react to claims they are still owned by Spain. "We have been fascinated for some time by Mexican claims that California, for example, was stolen from them by America. We had California for 300 years and Mexico had it for 20. So in the spirit of fairness, we will also be annexing California. "We wish the Mexicans a happy Cinco de Mayo. It was a great victory for Spain and we remain proud of it. We encourage our Mexican subjects to call the new governors we are sending from Spain traditional names like 'Don Raphael' and we ask you not to bother with the whole Zorro thing this time - unless it's that George Hamilton version. He was pretty good."