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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Gore Vidal Still Hasn't Gotten Over Guatamela



Why is it every time one of these wackos starts spouting off, United Fruit has to come into it? Yes, we all agree that wasn't America's finest hour. None of these people ever say, "Oh yeah, that Communist shouldn't have nationalized their land and their factories ... "

In his latest senile ranting, he deftly avoids stating that America deserved 9/11 ... he simply says we haven't deserved some of the governments we've gotten over the last 40 years.

He then alleges America intentionally does not teach geography to children so that we'll stay in the dark about how the government is pushing everyone around and making us hated.

What he never mentions is that there are a lot of bad people in the world and that Europe certainly isn't going to protect anyone ... what he does say is that every government since after he was a young man ( surprise ) has been bad. That sounds to me like a bitter old man telling me how much better ballplayers were in his day.

He claims to be Jeffersonian. I like this quote, where claims virtually everyone but him is either evil or stupid.

"And the liberals, of course, are the slowest and the stupidest, because they do not understand their interests. The right wing are the bad guys, but they know what they want -- everybody else's money. And they know they don't like blacks and they don't like minorities. And they like to screw everyone along the way."


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