Discrimination Against Joke-Telling Genitals
Sure, if you're one of the big network newscasters that acts like a dick, your speech is protected. But if you're actually a dick trying to make a buck getting people to laugh, free speech doesn't apply to you. At least in Michigan.
Timothy Huffman, 47, an unemployed musician-cook who is the father of five children, said he'd been targeted for prosecution because he has a criminal record and lacked the resources to defend himself.
"We asked them in court, 'Why don't you prosecute 'Schindler's List'? It has nudity,' " Huffman said. "And they said to me, 'You're no Steven Spielberg.'
Kent County Assistant Prosecutor Tim McMorrow said Huffman is not being singled out, nor was he charged for expressing himself.
"This is really not a First Amendment case," he said. "The First Amendment protects his right to an opinion, not the right to appear naked on TV."
I hope the cast of "Desperate Housewives" doesn't hear about this. I am hoping there is a ratings slump next season so that Nicolette Sheridan will take it all off.
Some Helpful German Translation Hints
Okay, foreign language posts are a little too blue state for me in most cases but if you speak German this is really, really funny.
Brad Pitt Says The Reasons For His Split With Jennifer Aniston Are "Complex"
I agree. Angelina Jolie picked me up at a hotel bar once and I couldn't figure out what her tattoos meant either. At least she didn't carry a vial of my blood around her neck. And, yeah, there was blood.
Pitt is a little more subtle about it, calling Jolie ... errr, I mean, the reasons for the breakup with Aniston "complex and multifaceted" and "not one thing."
And me? Well, I was good enough for Jolie when she was making Cyborg 2 but she won't even return my phone calls now.