The Finnish Are So Happy They Are Drinking Themselves To Death In Record Numbers I'd drink too, if it were daylight 6 months at a time. So the Fins lowered tariffs on alcohol and this increased imports. Why be surprised that more alcohol is consumed when booze is cheap and Finnish women are ugly? What is surprising is that these numbskulls drink themselves TO DEATH. I have seen goldfish with more self-control. That doesn't even count the fact that alcohol is involved in two-thirds of all violent acts in Finland. In America we have to fall back on the "Bitch just didn't know when to shut up" excuses when schooling our ho's. In Finland they can blame it on that demon whiskey, errrr ... whiskey, I guess, is the name for it, which sounds a lot more exculpatory. If you happen to be Bill Buckley you know what that word means. And if you are Bill Buckley, why are you reading my blog? Article Here

French on French No, it's not the worst porn movie ever, it's rioting in the suburbs of Paris. What could the French possibly have to protest about? After all, French farmers get $900 in government for every cow they own and, since the average farmer in sub-Saharan Africa only makes $400 he can't grow his own food and sell it locally cheaper than they can import it from France. So the French have it pretty good, unless you care about poor people or ethics or hygiene. But hey, that's not what this tirade is about. This tirade is about making fun of anyone who would live in a place called 'Bobigny.' And, in some sense, it's about the fact that the French are worried about their own terrorist breeding grounds. Ya see, when you have abortion on demand, people tend to have less children. The population of Old Europe is aging rapidly and they didn't have any kids, so in order to feed the government machine, the French have to let in anyone at all willing to work and pay taxes. To an extent that 40 years from now France could be gone. Not a bad thing, you think, right? Well, sure, but then we would only have 6 kinds of cheese in the world. Unfortunately for France, the only people willing to move there are Muslims from Africa and points farther east rather famous for blowing things up. So Interior Minister Nicolas Sarkozy would maybe like to be President some day and he has to have a gimmick, and crime is what he chose. This had led to a few incidents where Muslims protested law enforcement because it involved stopping Muslims from committing crimes. In this case we even got the bonus tear gas fired into a Mosque. Muslims really didn't like that but they don't bother with statistics that show 80% of Mosques are involved in subversion or even terrorism. It's that whole "Dar al-Islam" thing they talk about in the Koran. They feel like they owe it to the world to make everyone Muslim. Thus they give you a choice; infidel to Muslim or living to dead. So Sarkozy is doing something that has been 30 years coming, and the French aren't the most tolerant people in the world anyway. If you'll shut up and drive a taxi and pay taxes, they will allow you. If it looks like you might be planning to overthrow one western country at a time as repayment for their intellectual and ethical largesse in letting you in ... well, bad things can happen. Sarkozy isn't without political enemies willing to make some hay at his expense. Laurent Fabius, a former Socialist prime minister and also a potential presidential candidate in 2007, even managed to take the obligatory French shot at Bush: "We need to act at the same time on prevention, repression, education, housing, jobs ... and not play the cowboy." Looks like you can be the cowboy, or you can be the Indian. Article Here

Bush Picks A Real Judge Told you, told you, told you, told you, TOLD YOU the Miers thing was a feint all along. He knew his opponents were going to fight after Roberts so he set her up as a sitting duck. Now he has a real conservative on board. They can't keep torpedoing judges without looking sillier than they already do, being Democrats. Article Here

Brooke Shields Secretly Likes Post-Partum Depression In a move so dumb even Andrea Yates says her judgment is questionable, Brooke Shields has decided to get pregnant again. It's not bad enough that the first one will grow up having to read about how her mother wanted to hurt when she was only two months old - because babies cry - but now Brooke has decided to spawn again. So what more outrageous conduct will Brooke have to engage in to sell her new book? I shudder to think. Tom Cruise may have been right on this one. He has a turkey baster for a penis, so he must know what he's talking about. Article Here

Christian Girls Beheaded In A Muslim Country - Happy Friggin' Ramadan Indonesia isn't really a bad place for a Muslim country - though any time you need a qualifier it means it really isn't all that great a place. Muslims crashed planes into buildings causing thousands of deaths and billions of dollars in damage. Yet not a single Muslim was beheaded by a Christian as a result. Heck, some girl had her picture taken laughing at a Muslim guy's pee pee and we're civilized enough to think that is outrageous. Well, people who wanted to yell at Bush thought it was outrageous anyway. But why go after Christian schoolgirls? I know, I know, Indonesia is the world's largest Muslim population and they're actually reasonably civil, but it doesn't change the fact bombings keep happening and young girls are being beheaded because they aren't the right religion. But it tells me the religion behind the beheaders is clearly the wrong one. Lots of Muslim 'scholars' living in non-Muslim countries will say the guys doing that aren't practicing true Islam. I love that argument. It's the same one Communists used to use about every Communist country as a way of defending Communism from attack. As if scholars living in western countries get to define what Islam is. In reality, the people actually practicing Islam in Muslim countries define what it is. And what it is ain't all that grand. So, happy Halloween in America. Happy friggin' Ramadan to the ignorant savages in the third world who did this - again. And yeah, you can declare a Fatwah on my ass for being sarcastic. Like I care. I'll unload a clip in you just as soon as look at you. Only in savage dictatorships ( like Canada ) do they take away guns so people can't defend themselves when someone wants to behead a kid. Article Here

Poll: The French Think Everyone Loves Them According to a recent survey, only 27% of young people in France think their same-aged counterparts in Britain make fun of them, while across the strait a whopping 86% of Britons think the French have it coming. It's like the French people sit around in groups drinking abysmally small cups of coffee saying things like, "Everyone loves us. I don't know a single person who dislikes the French." The French dismissed the survey results as Small Penis Envy on the part of the UK residents. Article Here

I'm Hotter Than Brad Pitt A week or so ago Sweety is sitting around reading People ( which I don't think anyone over the age of 30 should do, but if that's her only vice, whatever ) and Jennifer Aniston is on the cover. So I say, "Nice of her and Vince Vaughn to be so discreet. And Brad Pitt is definitely winning that battle." She doesn't look up. She has been through this kind of thing about 8 bazillion times - because I keep count. "What do you mean?" she asks. Because she is inherently polite. I say, "Well, Brad Pitt went from Jennifer Aniston to Angelina Jolie. About the same in looks but way over the top on the deviant sex scale. Aniston went from Brad Pitt to ... Vince Vaughn. Not really a step up." "But how do you go up from Brad Pitt?" she asks. I stew on that for a minute. Then I say, "What the hell does that mean, how do you go up from Brad Pitt? I am better than Brad Pitt." She doesn't miss a beat. "Yeah, but Jennifer can't have you. You're taken."

Experts Alarmed At Link Between Prison Numbers and Dwindling Crime

Experts Alarmed At Link Between Growing Prison Numbers and Dwindling Crime Not to sound elitist ... okay, I am elitist but I don't want to sound that way ... but interpretations like this are why all usage of statistics should be pre-approved by me. Reuters is concerned that "The U.S. prison population, already the largest in the world, grew by 1.9 percent in 2004, leaving federal jails at 40 percent over capacity, according to Justice Department figures released on Sunday" even though the "U.S. prison population continued to grow last year even though reports of violent crime during 2004 were at the lowest level since the government began compiling statistics 32 years ago, according to a government report released in September." This is like the editors at Reuters apparently not understanding that their degree of drunkenness while working was continuing to grow even though the liquor in the bottle was at the lowest level since they opened it. Article Here

Tuskegee Airman Back In Action

Tuskegee Airmen Back In Action "It was the Tuskegee Airmen who made America come to its senses," Ted Johnson, 80, who graduated from the Advanced Flight School in 1945 and is considered one of the youngest Tuskegee Airmen, "that individuals should be judged on their accomplishments, rather than their ethnicity and color." What's so inspiring about the Tuskegee Airmen is that they served their country, and had faith in it, at a time when the country had not yet earned it. Lt. Col. Herbert Carter is 86 years old and ready for deployment. More than 60 years after his World War II tour with the pioneering black pilots known as the Tuskegee Airmen, Carter's new mission will be shorter, though no less courageous. Carter is one of seven aging Tuskegee Airmen traveling this weekend to Balad, Iraq _ a city ravaged by roadside bombs and insurgent activity _ to inspire a younger generation of airmen who carry on the traditions of the storied 332nd Fighter Group. A great story, and worth the read. Article Here

Scientists With Too Much Money Make Tiny Car

Scientists With Too Much Money Make Tiny Car Using the parts inside a single molecule, scientists have constructed the world's smallest car. It has a chassis, axles and a pivoting suspension. The wheels are buckyballs, spheres of pure carbon containing 60 atoms apiece. The whole car is no more than 4 nanometers across. That's slightly wider than a strand of DNA. A human hair is about 80,000 nanometers thick. Why make a really tiny car? So that it can carry really tiny buckets of stuff between really tiny factories. Article Here

In Case Anyone Ever Claims I Knocked Them Up ...

In Case Anyone Ever Claims I Knocked Them Up ... Article Here

U.N. Proves Once Again That The US Is The Only Country In The World

U.N. Proves Once Again That The US Is The Only Country In The World Irrelevant northern Europeans cheered as once again the UN Nobel Committee issued a resounding slap to the Bush administration by lobbing a Nobel Peace Prize to pandering bureaucrats who used "diplomacy" rather than force to accomplish something with crazy dictators. Does the Nobel Peace Prize ever go to someone who isn't slapping the Bush administration, or at least to an incompetent US President like Jimmy Carter? Oh, wait. Mohamed ElBaradei and the International Atomic Energy Agency didn't actually accomplish anything by caving in to Iran or North Korea. But let's give them a prize for trying. Yeah, that makes sense. Clinton should have gotten one in 1994 when he let the North Koreans lie to the world last time. And giving one to pistol-wearing-at-the-UN Arafat sure brought more peace to the mid-east. If by peace you mean wave after wave of suicide bombing and claims of poisoned chewing gum that made Arab women promiscuous. Article Here OSLO, Norway - Mohamed ElBaradei and the International Atomic Energy Agency won the 2005 Nobel Peace Prize on Friday for their drive to curb the spread of atomic weapons by using diplomacy to resolve standoffs with Iran and North Korea over their nuclear programs. The Nobel Committee's decision lent support to negotiations and inspections, not military action, as the best way to handle volatile nations. It also was seen as a message to the Bush administration, which invaded Iraq after claiming U.N. efforts to eradicate Saddam Hussein's nuclear ambitions had failed and which opposed ElBaradei's appointment to another term.