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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Like All Good Liberals, Age Makes Mondale Regret His Hypocrisy



You remember Mondale ... he ran against Reagan, then 73, in 1984. His biggest campaign issue was Reagan's age ... it was a cheap shot to be sure ... it's not like Mondale had the economy to fall back on, since he had been VP in the worst economic debacle in American history ... or foreign policy to fall back on, since he had been VP during the biggest American foreign policy debacle in US history ... so Mondale had to campaign against Reagan's age.

Naturally, now that Mondale is running for the Senate, someone asked the 74 year old how he felt about the remarks. He immediately said that he was ``sorry'' for having raised the issue in 1984 and pointed out that he had apologized to Reagan's family the day after the comment. Note that he did not issue that apology to the American public or any newspapers.

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