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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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To Katie Couric, Andrea Yates Supporters, And Those Not In Favor Of The Death Penalty



The videotape footage of that idiot psycho beating her daughter in a department store parking lot should change your mind about the 'rights' of mentally disturbed mothers.

The waiting list for adorable baby girls is long ... I bet thousands of couples would take this child happily. I think that's just what should be done.

I don't want to hear apologies from her attorney. I don't want to hear about bad judgment or regret ... you can bet this isn't the first time she did this, it's just the first time she got caught.

I would gladly extend such a violation of parental rights to anyone who hits a child with a closed fist.

Why did I included Katie Couric in this tirade? Because if she had watched video of Yates methodically drowning her children in a bathtub she wouldn't have wasted time and network bandwidth blaming everyone except the criminal.

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