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since spring 2002


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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Ahhhh, me public!!



This commentary from a devoted blog reader:

"I read your stuff and I think you may be a commie wimp asshole out to destroy the moral fabric of America and all it stands for. Have you served in the military? Do you give to United Way? Do you belong to a church or are you a Jew or Muslim ? Get real. Leave this country if you wont fight or support it! commie pinko...bet your gay too!"

Well, as you can see, he certainly has my number.

In case you are curious, I answered his questions:
1) Yes
2) No
3) Yes, no and no, since it was a three parter ...

posted by your friendly neighborhood Moderator at 6:53 PM
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