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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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The Bell Ringer of Notre Dame?



Oh yeah, after consultation with a 'disability adviser' a touring theatre company has re-titled its performances of 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame' to avoid causing offence to disabled people.

They could have avoided the problem by simply using Hugo's original title, 'Notre Dame de Paris', instead of the Americanized english translation that became so popular. You can't capitalize on someone's success and still be politically correct these days. What's the world coming to...?

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Dartmouth Trains The Left Wing



The Government 30 syllabus from Dartmouth includes terms you need to know, such as:
Left -- favoring a greater degree of equality (social, economic, political)
Right -- favoring a greater degree of inequality, believing that a select few should have power based on birth or merit
Radical -- favoring fast, large changes toward equality
Liberal -- (the narrow, modern definition) favoring slow, gradual changes toward equality
Classical liberal -- favoring a system of free markets and competitive individualism
Conservative -- favoring slow, gradual changes toward inequality

Email the professor, Michael Krasner, at krasner@dartmouth.edu and let him know what you think of his thought-control.

posted by your friendly neighborhood Moderator at 9:32 AM
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Muslim woman to challenge ban on veil in driver's license photo



Why is it that a San Francisco court can contend that the Pledge of Allegiance be disallowed because of reference to God and the nebulous 'separation of Church and State' phrasing of the Bill of Rights, but no one is claiming separation of church and state when it comes to a Muslim having to remove her veil to get a state-issued driving privilege?

It seems a no-brainer under the modern interpretation of separation.

What really fascinates me is how she's gotten various left-wing groups rallying to her cause. What they fail to mention is that in Saudi Arabia she can't drive a car at all ... so I think having to remove the veil for a picture is a pretty good deal.

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posted by your friendly neighborhood Moderator at 9:16 AM
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San Francisco Court Says Pledge of Allegiance Unconstitutional



Welcome to Belgium .... errrrr ... I mean, The Republic of San Francisco. As if people didn't already make enough fun of CA, well-meaning judicial advocates have struck another blow for moral anarchy and religious restriction.

A federal appeals court ruled Wednesday that the Pledge of Allegiance is an unconstitutional endorsement of religion and cannot be recited in schools.

Whatever. They'll declare money unconstitutional next. It says 'In God We Trust' on it.

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posted by your friendly neighborhood Moderator at 3:26 PM
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Belgian Courts Throw Out Ridiculous Belgian Law -- Again



See my earlier posts. Basically, Belgian courts have been arguing over whether or not Belgian courts can try someone who is not a Belgian, did not commit a crime against a Belgian, and is not on Belgian soil.

Well, this is the home of the EU, who does think they can tell everyone else what to do. Opponents of Belgian 'universal law' were happy while advocates promised to take the issue to the new ICC.

They should take it to a San Francisco court. They make Belgians look conservative, as my next post demonstrates.



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Harold Evans On Media Distortion



Among other things. The former editor of 'The Sunday Times' and author of "The American Century", also discusses anti-Semitism and the chilling paradoxes of the global village.

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Big Brother Makes A Big Step Forward and the EU Likes It



European Union leaders yesterday moved to establish an EU border police force to patrol shores, ports and crossing points against illegal immigrants. The dramatic attempt to strengthen "fortress Europe" could mean foreign guards wearing an EU uniform patrolling in Britain.

The EU says this EU police force would act in tandem with the local police force.

What's the over-under on Britains's continued presence in the EU anyway?

Article Here

posted by your friendly neighborhood Moderator at 12:40 PM
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CA School Outlaws Tag



You might get tired of reading goofy things about California ... I know I get tired of writing goofy things about California.

This time it's Santa Monica, only half-jokingly referred to as "The People's Republic Of" due to the PC-run-amok nature of it's thought control efforts.

The principal of Franklin Elementary School, Pat Samarge, says banning the game of tag is about safety. Yet paragraph three of the school newsletter titled "Safety on the Playground," reads: "The running part of this activity is healthy and encouraged; however, in this game, there is a 'victim' or 'It,' which creates a self-esteem issue. The oldest or biggest child usually dominates."

Can the rest of the nation proactively declare Santa Monica to be its own nation, so we don't have to be embarrassed on talk shows all over the country by this?

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posted by your friendly neighborhood Moderator at 10:32 AM
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Norwegian Man Has Enough Junk Mail, Threatens To Rape The Next Person Who Brings It To Him



No wonder the Oslo Accords flopped ...

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California Needs To Know About The Sex Habits Of Its 10-year olds ...



Oh yeah, in the news again ... lucky Palmdale.
The survey had asked youngsters if they thought about having sex, if they thought about "touching other people's private parts" and if they didn't trust people because they might want sex. "Hopefully they will never do something like this again. We needed to protect our children's rights the best way we could." said parent Tammany Fields, whose 10-year-old son was given the survey.

Parents filed a claim with the school board. "Parents have the statutory right to know, in advance, whether their children will be given sex education at a school, and if they choose, in their sole discretion, to exempt their children from such education. By robbing the claimants of the right to control their children's upbringing, the district simultaneously robbed the students of their innocence and the claimants of their status as parents," the claim said.

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Enemy Combatant Has No Right To Lawyer, Feds Say



"This is really an astounding assertion of authority," David Cole, a Georgetown University law professor, told The Washington Post.

"It's not just that you have no right to a lawyer, it's that you have no right to even have a hearing," he said. "If that is true, then there is really no limit to the President's power to label U.S. citizens as bad people and then have them held in military custody indefinitely."

Yes, if you are a US citizen it's called being a traitor ... and that is handled by military tribunals. The homogenization of common sense by the left can continue unabated now ...

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Southwest Airlines To Begin Charging Overweight Passengers For Two Seats



It sounds like profiling to me. There are no height/weight guidelines. Said Southwest spokeswoman Christine Turneabe-Connelly,"It is, unfortunately, a judgment call."

Why, with the security of our nation so important, is it okay for an airline to make a judgment call about overweight people but airlines are required to frisk grandmothers with the same zeal they use for foreigners with expired visas?

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CA Governor Davis Uses Terrorism For Votes Again



Gov. Gray Davis' top security adviser said Monday that a terrorist attack this summer was "almost inevitable," although he provided little detail about this attack.

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Toby Keith Says Peter Jennings Vetoed Patriotic Song For July 4th Special



No surprise there ... if Toby Keith had written a song praising Palestinian suicide bombers, I bet Jennings would have wanted it played so that the show would be 'balanced.'

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Knife Fight Breaks Out After Meeting of A.C. Democrats



Susan Sarandon would simply say they must really, really care about their politics.

The city Democratic committee's reorganization meeting ended in a knife fight Monday.

Jihad Callaway, brother of Craig Callaway, pulled a knife on Elijah Steele, a supporter of Mayor Lorenzo Langford, in front of Local 54's headquarters, witnesses said. Steele reportedly responded with his own blade.

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Tina Brown Blames 9/11 And Press for "Talk" Failure



Tina Brown, who tried to typify the Clinton 90's confluence of Hollywood and government but fell short of the near-term success of "George" and "Politically Incorrect", has taken to blaming everyone except herself for the magazine's decline and eventual bankruptcy.

"Our partners would have had to take a big financial hit to ride it out and did not feel they could." Even worse, said Brown, was that her magazine was "the favorite bloodsport of the press."

"I warned the staff that it would be bad but by the end of it we thought we had fought more wars than Kabul," Brown complained.

Using condescension for her advertisers because they didn't like the original magazine paper she chose, contempt for the press for being happy to see her fail, and adoration for herself as she tries to rework her image into that of a brave warrior during an American crisis, Brown continues to boggle the common sense folk of America.

Brown says she feels bad about her former staff.

"They are just lost now. There's no place for them to be theatrical with their work," she said.

They could just try being good writers.

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Police Dog Accused Of Racial Profiling



My old stomping grounds of Pittsburgh. Of course, you can train a dog to attack almost anyone, but it's still a really funny headline ...

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posted by your friendly neighborhood Moderator at 9:45 AM
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CA Life Part 2



Unable to indirectly legislate the conduct of California youth, legislators are taking it upon themselves to act in ways that would make the Founding Fathers cringe. Not content with steep sin taxes on cigarettes and using taxpayer money to create expensive advertisements against smoking, well-meaning CA lawmakers decided to introduce a bill Monday to raise the smoking age from 18 to 21, highest in the nation.

"The tobacco industry knows full well what it is doing and it knows full well the dangers of this (legislation)," Dunn said. "This could mean the ultimate demise of their industry, and they know it."

Dr. Jack Lewin, head of the California Medical Association, said, "Once again California is leading the way in breaking the chain of addiction and unnecessary preventable death due to tobacco."

Dr. Lewin did not mention how many times CA has led the way in ethical, moral and constitutional violations.

Article Here

posted by your friendly neighborhood Moderator at 6:11 PM
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CA Life -- You Think I Make This Stuff Up



A 13-year-old California boy who was facing a possible eight years in juvenile prison for a spitball attack on a fellow student was given a much lighter sentence Thursday -- although he will still log some time behind bars.

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We'll Always Have Susan Sarandon



Though she'll never keep her yap shut ... this time she's insisting we 'show sympathy' to suicide bombers. Why? Welll, she feels like if they're willing to blow up civilians it must be really, really important to them, and therefore no one should ever fight back ... in other news, she demonstrated her keen grasp of the political landscape by insisting that weeds would stop growing if we simply left them alone.

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Gay Afghans Scare UK Marines



Adopting the old Greek "a woman for babies, a man for pleasure" mentality, gay swarms of local Afghans have spooked British soldiers.

"It was hell," said Corporal Paul Richard, 20. "Every village we went into we got a group of men wearing make-up coming up, stroking our hair and cheeks and making kissing noises."

Thus begins the al-Qaeda plan to destroy western morale "from the inside."

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Voters In One Oregon County Ban The UN and Approve Tree Cutting On Federal Land



Finally, a place in Oregon I would like to live. After having most of the state taken over by left-wing ELF wannabe's, voters in Grant county have taken a stand against big government.

"We intend to push the limit, push the envelope on this," said Dave Traylor, a stocky, bearded jack-of-all-trades who helped write the measures.

The county covers an area about the size of Connecticut. More than 60 percent of the land is managed by the federal government. The jobless rate, 13.5 percent, is the second-highest in Oregon. Many people have seen their logging livelihoods dribble away.

The second measure that passed in Grant County says the United Nations wants to take away people's guns, seize private property, control the education of children and establish "one world religion-Pantheism (and) world taxation."

Amen.

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