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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Important Dating News For Our Young Male Scientists



WorldNetDaily is outraged at the modern culture of promiscuity that is exemplified by the number of female teachers seducing their young male science students.

Yes, the cockblockers in some newspaper are trying to make it harder for you to get laid. As if getting laid in high school isn't already difficult enough they want to take teachers out of the dating pool.

Now, we can't all be lucky enough to have Pamela Rogers as a teacher:

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Click here to see the best video any teacher outside a Van Halen video ever made.

Fortunately WorldNetDaily publishes the whole list of teachers who will have sex with students in one easy-to-read compilation. So, young science students, you know where to move.

Thank me later.

posted by your friendly neighborhood Moderator at 8:21 PM
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