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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Some Thoughts On Sports



How exciting will a St. Louis World Series be? I think all fans are a little tired of the Yankees and the Braves. Unfortunately Steinbrenner and the player's union will use this as contention that money doesn't buy success ... but the Yankees still got to the playoffs, and the facts that they could buy a bloated Raul Mondesi contract to do it says that the system is wildly unbalanced. Oakland and St. Louis would be a great match-up

Speaking of which, Oakland's football team really put the spurs to Buffalo today.

Will the Steelers make any dramatic changes now that they're 1-3? I don't think benching Kordell was a big change, I think he should have been cut long ago, his nebulous 2001 team MVP status notwithstanding. He's a great athlete, a good football player ... he's just not a quarterback, no matter what he thinks. His pride won't let him go back to his old Slash role and his attitude will poison the Steelers locker room. I know he's secretly happy they lost today and that's always a bad sign.

Sunderland does not even play like they should be in the English Premier League. Watching them get handled by Arsenal today was like watching men playing boys. I've always thought Claudio Reyna was overrated, his status as captain of team USA notwithstanding. Landon Donovan is the best player on the US team and if he has leadership skills to go with it he'll soon get the armband.

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