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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Woman branded a 'hippo' by internet date threatens to sue



Nicoleta Popescu is threatening legal action after a man she met through an internet dating agency described her as a "hippo".

Gabriel Malinescu 33, from Bucharest, told the National newspaper: "I expected to see a blonde, blue-eyed, slim beauty in front of me. But what I got was a gigantic hippo. She told me she weighed eight stones but she was more like 18."

Nicoleta, who's 29, says she's going to sue him for emotional distress.

"He hurt my feelings and has caused me considerable anguish," she said. "He has obviously not heard the saying that beauty is on the inside."

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