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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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CA Sets the Education Standard Once Again



That's right, get 23 out of 100 MULTIPLE CHOICE(!) questions right and you pass ... for a B, you need 39 correct. This is supposedly a good idea and replaces individually created tests.

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'Jihad' speech at Harvard



The young man, Zayed Yasin, says he is simply recapturing the spirit of what the word 'really means;' personal struggle.

Funny, no one at Harvard was jumping up to defend President Bush when he used the word 'crusade' a few months ago ... but he was just using the word for what it really meant, 'a valiant effort' ... still, it was deemed insensitive by the left and he retracted it.

Yet it's not insensitive now to use 'my American Jihad' in a commencement speech, especially if you're born in Chicago and raised near Boston, but have a foreign name. Well, try giving that speech at the 'ground zero' ceremony this morning, Zayed ...

Supporters at Harvard conveniently leave out that he helped raise money on campus for the Hamas-front group the Holy Land Foundation.

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Rock Star Bono Has Bold Plan To Relieve Third World Debt: Don't Make Them Pay It Back



Why didn't I think of that? Of course that will solve the problem, until they acquire more debt.

In other progressive initiatives, Bono advocated clean water.

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Social Security memo gives GOP smoking gun



Oops ... the Dems get caught terrifying old people with exaggerated claims about the Republican boogie men ... whoda thunk it?

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Russian Policeman Has Enough of Child's Taunting



Great video still of him punching the kid in the face. Before it was fashionable for the left wing in America to adore Arab police states it was chic to adore the Russian police state. This kind of thing only happens when police are the only ones allowed to have guns.

Supposedly the policeman, named in Russian media reports as Lieutenant Colonel Aleksandr Lysenko, the head of the city's traffic police, has been fired.

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Hawaiian Public Schools Limit Boy Scout Programs



Are they still a state? Why? We all know they hate everyone from the mainland ... why not give them to China? Their latest PC incursion is into the Boy Scout Oath ... because it includes talk of duty to God, and they feel that violates the 'separation of Church and State' interpretation of the Constitution.

Two groups,Scouting for All and Hawaii Citizens for the Separation of State and Church, said the program should also be banned from public schools because of the Scouts' national policy barring homosexuals from serving as adult leaders and because of the Scouts' reference to God.


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National Education Association Ordered To Halt Rights Violations of Teachers Who Disagree With Their Policies



So says the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. Under Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, union officials may not force any employee to financially support a union if doing so violates the employee's sincerely held religious beliefs. The law allows union members to donate their fees to charities of their choice if supporting the unions violates their religious beliefs.

So if you disagree with the NEA, your union dues are supposed to go to the charity of your choice. According to the complaint, what the NEA has been doing is forcing teachers to write a lengthy, detailed description of their religious beliefs, on an annual basis, asking "probing personal questions" about his relationship with God and his religious affiliation. They also required him to obtain a signature from a religious official attesting to the validity of his beliefs.

Daniel Cronin, director of the National Right to Work Legal Defense Foundation's legal information department, said the foundation receives about 100 reports each year from teachers who have complaints about the NEA's policies regarding religious objectors.

I don't believe it!! The NEA is all about helping kids, right???

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The Thought Police At The Independent Bookstore Near You



American Enterprise Institute scholar Joshua Muravchik says the independent Washington bookstore "Politics & Prose" agreed to sponsor a signing for his book, "Heaven on Earth: The Rise and Fall of Socialism" but pulled the invitation once they found out the book was critical of the left-wing ideology.

Cleve Corner of the bookstore initially expressed enthusiasm for ths signing but then did an about-face, informing Encounter Books publicity director Amy Packard that "we will not be able to host the event" because "there is a strong ISO contingent that frequents the store and they have had several discussions and readings in connection with us."

Turns out ISO stands for International Socialist Organization which, like all Trotskyite sects, seeks the overthrow of the government and replacement with ... well, the leaders of the ISO, presumably.


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A Pre-Plucked Chicken



Too lazy to go to the local outdoor market, buy a bird, chop its head off, gut it, boil it, remove the feathers, sear off the feather stubs, then cook it?

Great news!! Israeli genetics expert Avigdor Cahaner, of the Rehovot Institute near Tel Aviv, has created a 'naked' chicken. He says they will grow faster and more quickly because they aren't prone to 'overheating' like normal chickens. Presumably, it also has less fat.

Animal right activists went nuts, which was an unexpected bonus.


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Bush Wins The Final Battle For Star Wars



Coincidence that George Lucas' latest crap film opens today? I think not ... yet, like drones in a Russian election, we will all get in line, pay our money, and hope against hope that we get a different result than we fear we are going to get.

Ahhh, for the good old days, when I first saw "The Empire Strikes Back" and had the luxury of being critical of it, thinking that that next one would be better, not knowing that was as good as it was going to get.

I still think it's a dumb ending ... and I never liked that Lucas responded to allegations there were no black people in the Star Wars universe with Lando Calrissian, showing that, yes, there are black people, they just aren't cool any more.

Anyway, fears of a new arms race ( against who? ) seem to be the usual hysteria we used to get from the 'unilateral disarmament' people ( great call there, guys! ) ... so let's build some space platforms!

Can I get a cool light sabre now?

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Al Gore On 'Disgraceful'



Following the revelation that the GOP is selling a picture set of the president, including one taken on 9/11, Al Gore said: "While most pictures are worth a thousand words, a photo that seeks to capitalize on one of the most tragic moments in our nation's history is worth only one--disgraceful."



He should know:
Disgraceful is selling the Lincoln bedroom to the highest bidder.
Disgraceful is turning the White House into the world's most expensive Starbucks.
Disgraceful is using your federal office to "dial for dollars."
Disgraceful is shaking down Buddhist monks, and then "pretending" you didn't know it was a fundraiser.
Disgraceful is receiving campaign contributions from the Chinese army.
Disgraceful is "no controlling legal authority."


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More Good Reasons To Own A Dog



A Siamese cat named Cocoa, tired of Canadian ambivalence, finally let his feelings be known when he tore at clothes and skin and drove his Nova Scotian owners from their home, police said on Monday.

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In Sacramento They Love The Governor, Even If He Asks For A Million Dollars In the Capitol Building



I'm hard pressed to imagine why California Teachers Assn. President Wayne Johnson would come out and publicly slam Gray Davis but it will be interesting to see how this plays out.

State law bars officials from actually accepting campaign checks in the Capitol but does not prevent them from asking for money on state property. It's just been a rule that while you're in the Capitol doing state business you don't do it.

Why would Johnson say such a thing? Especially since they were Davis' biggest backer in 1998? Because Davis has come out against the union's top priority for the year, legislation to make textbooks and other classroom issues subject to collective bargaining.

Said Johnson, "I honestly believe we could have given him $2 million, and he still would have taken a position against us."

What ever happened to the good old days, when a bought Democrat stayed bought?

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Church of the Nativity: What If This Was a Muslim Holy Site?



We know they're terrorists ... that's why no country in Europe wanted to let them be exiled there. So where is the outrage from Europe? From the Pope?

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California Education Fascism: No Post High School Plans, No Diploma



In violation of law, common sense and the obvious notion that future plans should have no bearing on meeting the requirements for graduation, eight San Fernando Valley high schools have given the rest of American yet another reason to make fun of California.


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No Tax Will Go Unfound For The EU: Internet Next



The EU, resentful of the circumvention of their punitive VATs that run as high as 25%, have decided that taxing internet purchases is the best thing for their citizens.

Why? Because this hurts EU companies, they say, who must levy the VAT. There was no mention of simply getting rid of the VAT for domestic companies to make them more competitive.

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America To Back Out of World Court



Not a bad idea. With half of the UN currently made up of criminal countries, it's unlikely that this 'court', made up of unelected international bureaucrats and supported by various Third World tyrannies, will be anything more than another device to attack the US and its citizens.

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