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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Some Scientific Equations Can't Be Solved, Like This One: W*0^M = N



And Π (Pi) or Maxwell's Equations. Everyone knows Π already, it's the ratio of the circumference to the diameter of a circle (22/7) and goes on forever. Then there's Maxwell's Equations; Maxwell grasped the connection between magnetism and electricity and how they create each other. But, like Π, they can never be solved. If you spend more and more time trying to solve either of those you can only come closer to the answer. You can never actually reach it.

So what happens when you put Π and Maxwell's Equations together? You guessed it; you get women.

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If you get in an argument, she will use Π against you. For example, "Oh yeah? Well, you slept with my sister" is the relationship equivalent of Π. Of course I slept with your sister. Scientists don't get personal assistants, so who else are we going to sleep with?

I slept with her mother too but dredging up the past doesn't help her with the current argument, does it?

Likewise, our constant attraction to women despite the Π issue falls under Maxwell's Equations, namely Faraday's Law of Induction. Faraday's Law goes like this; when there are multiple available men and a woman which has no man, the men will be induced toward the woman until equilibrium is reached.

Really, that's everything you need to know to win any bar-room discussion on the physics of electromagnetism, don't you think? It won't help much with women, though. Faraday's Law doesn't have much wiggle room to it. I guess that's why it's a Law.

posted by your friendly neighborhood Moderator at 12:07 PM
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Comments on ""

 

Anonymous thomas said ... (3:14 PM) : 

This is hilarious...well, maybe not to women lol

 

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