Scientific Fun For The Weekend
Saturday morning. Make an air gun that shoots tampons. Some PVC, a few tampon vending tubes and a whole mess of tampons. Conveniently, I keep all that around the house for emergencies.
Later Saturday morning. Shoot brother with tampon gun. Let's face it, men don't even like going to the store to buy tampons. He's really going to hate being shot with them. Maybe even as much as Mel Gibson hates Jews.
Saturday afternoon: Find a way to work "I have unnaturally high levels of testosterone" into a joke. If this guy Floyd Landis can win the Tour De France and get to brag about testosterone levels, he is our new hero. Hope Leno doesn't get to the joke first.
Saturday evening: Orgy of unprotected sex with supermodels.
Sunday morning: Order the Collette - Action Hooker toy doll for my niece. It's French, and that means culture. We could all use a little culture.
Sunday afternoon: Write the definitive scientific treatise on the blogger community. Some people are overwhelmed by the number of choices out there. It's quite simple, really. Start here, then go wherever.
Sunday evening: Accept a collect call from this girl:
She says she isn't a convict but I am not sure. Orange isn't her color so that makes me a little suspicious.
Sunday night. Watch Footballers' Wives. You thought I was going to say 'have another orgy of unprotected sex with supermodels', didn't you? Fooled you. Scientists are nothing if not diverse.