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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

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2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Earth Day Summit Attendees Enjoy Caviar And Champagne While They Talk About Starvation



The British delegates accused the US of failing the world's poor a few days ago. Today the 70 person delegation is dining in luxury while children in nearby shanty towns stand in line for water. Who's paying the $700,000 for the British to eat caviar while they talk about famine? British taxpayers, of course.

The 60,000 summit delegates from 182 countries are expected to drink 80,000 bottles of mineral water during the conference. Why? Because they won't drink the water in South Africa, where 6,000 children die from diseases caused by contaminated water every day.

Other important environmental issues will be discussed as well ... but they won't talk about all of the trees cut down around the conference center in Sandton, the most exclusive suburb in Africa, so that limosuines could have easier access.



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