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Top 10 Reasons My Faster-Than-Light Car Rules:

10) Stephen Hawking always wants to carpool.

9) Breaking the laws of physics is only a misdemeanor in most states.

8) Traffic enforcement is pretty much limited to cops with Ph.D.'s in Quantum Physics.

7) Bugs - they never see you comin'.

6) I can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.

5) I made a fortune selling pizza with the slogan "It's there before you order or it's free!"

4) I sleep until noon and still get to work by 8:00am!

3) I'm never in the car long enough to hear an entire Madonna song.

2) My cigar butts don't land in the back seat, they land in last week!

... and the number one cool thing about my faster-than-light car is ...

1) I get a license plate that reads "ME = MC^2"

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Soccer Fans In EU Member Nation Set Fire To Dog After Loss



I'm all for nosey Europeans telling everyone else how to act but when it comes to setting dogs on fire, I draw the line.

Sure, install a lot of nuclear power plants and insist that somehow makes Kyoto mandatory for the US. Sure, tell me the illegal weapons you sold to Iraq don't exist and that you have more culture than places like Mexico. But don't tell me in order to be cool I have to hang dogs.

posted by your friendly neighborhood Moderator at 2:55 PM
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